Deserving Of You
by wecouldbegigantic
Summary: After some unkind comments, Raz helps Lili fight some of her own personal demons.
It's evening when Lili hears it.

She's sixteen and back at Whispering Rock, this time not as a camper but as a counsellor. It hasn't been all as bad as she had expected – surprisingly enough, she found herself enjoying teaching tiny children how to set fire to things, even if Milla had reprimanded her for encouraging the scorching of innocent birds and squirrels. It's not been a bad time at all, she can spend time in the sun, there are plenty of flowers she can talk to, and she finally has free time that she can spend with her boyfriend, Raz. Six years hadn't done anything to lessen her affection for him. If anything, her feelings had grown stronger. She'd seen him on mission after mission, ever the same quick-witted, charming guy he'd always been.

She's on duty in the main lodge, hovering about the tables to make sure none of the campers are killing each other. It's not the most enjoyable of jobs; psychic children are prone to fighting more so than normal children, and tearing two nine year olds with psi powers off of each other isn't as easy as it sounds, but Lili makes do. In her head, she's counting down the hours until she can put all of them to bed – until she can be alone with Raz.

She steps into the TV room for a moment to usher out a few unruly children, and is about to turn back into the main room when she hears her name and her ears burn.

Lili knows that she shouldn't listen in, but when she hears Raz's name too, she can't help herself. She turns invisible and hovers beside the table, listening to the campers talk.

"God, she's so awful."

It came from the oldest camper at Whispering Rock, a fourteen year old girl with violet hair twisted up into a knot at the top of her head.

Lili scoffs. What's it to her if some bratty kid doesn't like her?

"I don't know how Raz puts up with her," the kid continues. "He clearly doesn't actually _like_ her."

"I know, right?" another of them snorts. "All she does is insult him. Dunno how he can stand to be around her."

Unbeknownst to them, Lili hovers a few feet away and begins to shake, something stirring in her stomach. Raz didn't think of her like that, did she?

"Raz deserves better than her."

Enough is enough and Lili darts back into the TV room, rematerializes, and then heads out of the door, feeling the glares of the group of children burning into her back.

* * *

Raz's feet rest upon a table, leaning back in a chair.

It's been a long day. He's scarcely had any chance to breathe in between sorting all these children out and creating obstacle courses in his mind for them to follow. He's supposed to be sorting things out for tomorrow right now, but he's taking the moment to relax, while he waits for Lili to finish dinner duty.

 _Lili_.

A smile tugs at his lips, his eyes fluttering shut as he gets lost in a daydream about her. Being a psychonaut had been his dream ever since he'd read the first True Psychic Tales, but Lili was a dream he had never expected. Going on missions was a thrill, but his very favourite moments, the best moments in his life, in fact, were the moments he spent with Lili. She always had something to say, a snarky comment to make, and with one word she could make him smile. She made his heart flutter and his stomach twist, even after six years of dating.

He's broken out of his reverie when he hears a loud rapping against the door. Whoever's behind it doesn't stop to hear him answer and the door is thrown open, the door handle slamming against the wall.

Raz jumps and turns to see Milla standing in the doorway, her face twisted in worry.

"What's going on?" he says, standing up and out of his seat. "Is something wrong? Is it a mission? Do we have to leave?"

"Raz, darling, it's Lili," Milla says.

Raz stops, his heart thudding.

"What about Lili? Is she hurt? Where is she? What's happened to her?"

He feels his stomach churn.

"You better come."

Milla guides him out the room.

"Sasha and I found her in the woods while we were-" Milla stops, a blush forming on her face. "We found her in the woods."

"Why was she there? She was supposed to be in the lodge, with the campers."

"I asked," Milla says. "The children say they saw her leave in a hurry. We think she was upset about something."

Raz pace quickens, along with his heartbeat. They reach the woods, and there they find Sasha Nein kneeling over Lili's limp body.

"Lili!" Raz cries out, flying over towards her, taking her hand in his.

Lili's eyes are shut tight, but her body twitches and she moans in distress. He reaches out a hand and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What's happened to her?" Raz says, his voice strained as he looks back up at Sasha and Milla.

"I do not know," Sasha says, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. "I couldn't wake her. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say she lost control of her mind and let her personal demons roam free. But there's only one way to find out."

"And you didn't-"

"Raz, darling, if there's anyone dear Lili is comfortable knowing her private thoughts, it is you," Milla says.

"Okay," Raz says, before taking a deep breath in. "Okay. I can do this."

He threads one arm around her back and one under her legs, lifting her up into his arms and gently carrying her off to the counsellor's quarters.

Laying her down on the bed, he curls a hand around her cheek. "I'm going to make it better, Lili," he whispers. "Whatever this is, I'm going to fix it. I promise."

* * *

Lili's mind is a mess.

Flames flicker all around the mental plain, nightmare demons shrieking. Voices howl and echo through his brain.

" _Why are you so mean?"_

" _You're so selfish."_

 _"_ _No one can stand to be around you."_

 _"_ _You don't deserve him."_

 _"_ _YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM."_

 ** _"_** ** _YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM!"_**

"Oh, Lili," Raz says, his voice soft.

He psi-blasts the nightmares and uses telekinesis to divert their attacks and blow them up, until Lili's mind is a little calmer. He slips out of her head and opens his eyes in the physical world.

He lies beside her on the bed, watching her chest rise and fall. Her eyes are still shut, but she no longer twitches and yells and her features are calmer. Raz curls up beside her, wrapping his arm around her.

He stays like that for a long while, saying nothing, just holding on quietly, never letting go. Milla and Sasha check in after a while, but leave soon after they see Lili safe in Raz's arms.

A few hours pass, and eventually, Lili's eyes slide open.

"Lili…" Raz says, sitting up slowly.

Lili frowns, rubbing her face with her hands. "What happened?"

"…I don't know," Raz says. "Sasha and Milla found you out in the woods. They couldn't wake you up, so they came and found me."

"Oh." Lili scowls. "Now I remember."

"What?"

Lili doesn't answer – she just stares down at her lap.

"What is it?"

She turns her head away and doesn't say anything. Raz knows that she knows he's been in her head, and for a moment his heart thumps in his throat. Lili is a private person, and fear rises up in him. Maybe she hates him for rifling through her thoughts.

"Lili…" he says, about to come up with an explanation.

"Why do you put up with me?" she says, stopping his train of thought.

"What?"

"I'm rude. I'm snarky. I insult you. I push you away. I don't understand why you stay," she says, her voice cracking at the end, and she turns her head away from him, her hand shaking as she furiously rubs her eyes.

"Lili…" Raz says softly. "Lili, no. What's brought this on?"

Lili refuses to look at him, her head still turned away. "Some of the campers were talking. They said… they said you were putting up with me. They said that they couldn't understand why you would be around me when I'm so horrible to you. They said that you deserve better."

Raz shifts around and kneels in front of her, taking her hands in his. "You shouldn't listen to anything they say."

Still, Lili does not look at him.

She finally breaks, her voice wobbling as she says quietly "but it's true."

The tears fall then, and she scrubs them away, her head still turned away. Raz's heart breaks. He shifts forward, and curls his hands around her face, gently turning her to face him.

"No," he says, a little too forcefully. "It is not true."

He leans forward and rest his forehead against hers. "I love that you're fiery," he says. "I love that you make snarky comments. I love that you don't always agree with everything I say, I love that you challenge me, I love that you're stubborn, I love that you never back down."

He wipes a tear away from her face with her thumb.

"These last six years have been the best years of my life," Raz says. "Because I've been able to spend these last six years with you. I love you, Lili, all of you, I love everything about you, no matter what anyone else says."

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She sighs and melts into him, her arms threading around his waist.

"You deserve the world," he whispers. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Another few tears spill, and Lili pushes them away from her face, suddenly embarrassed.

"Sorry," she mutters.

"Nothing to be sorry for."

She leans back and for the first time that evening he sees her smile. For a few moments she stays in his arms and says nothing. And then –

"I love you too," she says. "Idiot."

He grins, his heart lifting.

This is the Lili he knows and loves.


End file.
